Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog

Following the first two rounds of chemo, (with the stuff that didn�t work), my hair didn�t fall out.   Since 99% of chemo patients lose their hair, I  had prepared for it to fall out by picking out a wig and I had a plan � when it started to fall out, I�d go in, get my head buzzed, and have my wig fitted.   But after weeks of no change, I was thinking that I was going to get to be in the elite group of 1% of chemo patients that doesn�t lose their hair.   Then�that damn Docataxel.   I am told that everyone on Docataxel loses his or her hair.   So�15 days after my first treatment, it started falling out.   Even though I was expecting hair loss, I didn�t expect it to start the day my Omaha friends came in.   It�s impressive how quickly it falls out once it starts and rather than having my hair fall out in a trail behind me, I wore a bandana.  Nathan said I looked like Rosie the Riveter:  "Can Do!" I tried to make an appointment for head buz...

  When it comes to friendships, I have been extremely lucky.   It�s no secret that to have good friends one must be a good friend.   Some would even say that there�s very little luck involved in building friendships.   However, I do feel very lucky to have been able to surround myself with friends that are as interested in where I am and what I�m doing as much as I am interested in them.   Over the years, I �ve had circumstantial friends� they�ve come and gone.    I also have dear friends that stay with me forever.   Today, I�m writing about my junior high and high school forever friends from Omaha.   Not all of them could make the trip this past weekend, however, four of them traveled from Omaha and Nashville to see me and we connected with another who lives in the area.   Kathy arrived on Thursday, while Dan, Tom and Kerry came on Friday.   Friday night we went to La Tasca, one of our favorite tapas restaurants.   ...

Sorry I haven�t written for a while. A friend worried that I�m not well enough to write. My lapse has been a combination of being busy (working, doctors� appointments, etc.) and a lack of energy.   Shortly after my third chemo session, the first treatment with Docataxel, I had  a very rough time.   I was warned that Docataxel would leave me feeling like I was at the height of the flu for 4-5 days.   I would say that is a fair description.   Docataxel left me with constant achiness and headache, GI problems, brutal mouth sores, a day of fever and again, undescribable fatigue for 11-12 days.   On Day 11, I called to make an appointment with my local oncologist to discuss my chemo options.   I had decided that having cancer was bad enough.   Despite promising myself that I�d continue any treatment as long as it was helping, after nearly two weeks of feeling like crap, I had decided I would not do Docataxel again.   I was willing to try other ch...

A few weeks ago, knowing that Valentine�s Day was coming up and that I wanted to do something really nice for my Valentine, I struggled with what I could realistically do.   When one has cancer and things aren�t going as expected, planning a weekend away isn�t possible.   I�ve been so preoccupied the last couple of months that I didn�t make a dinner reservation at a cool Chicago restaurant and now, it was too late.   Heck�I couldn�t even count on myself to feel well enough to make a nice dinner for him. And then� Two weeks ago my oncologist called to cancel my original repeat liver biopsy appointment because I was on a medication and a chemo drug that increases the risk of bleeding during any surgical procedures.   I had to wait another 10 days until I could safely have another liver biopsy. My oncologist and I wanted to have the biopsy as soon as possible.   The first day I could have it?   Of course, Valentine�s Day.   Being overwhelmed with our live...

I had a doctor's appointment today and also had my blood drawn to see if I'm OK for my liver biopsy appointment scheduled for tomorrow.  Platelets and all other blood work are fine and I'm going tomorrow morning for my procedure.   The liver biopsy will be sent out for pan-cancer testing...the test that I didn't want to have several weeks ago (...before I learned that my first chemotherapy regiment wasn't working.  See Blog #9 "WWYD...What Would You Do?)  The results take several weeks to return and those of you who know me know that I'm not very good at waiting.  

Today I went to the ophthalmologist for a follow-up visit for the cotton-wool spots on my retinas.   The exam showed that the spots are diminishing in intensity and number...YIPEE!  So despite my disease progression, the lesions in my eyes are getting better. Tomorrow I have some blood testing to make sure my platelets and other clotting factors are within normal ranges.  If so, then I'll have another liver biopsy on Thursday. (Busy week.) Let's hope that good news begets good news!

As explosive and poison bombs were falling on major cities in England during WWII, the British government issued a propaganda campaign that included posters saying �Keep Calm and Carry On.�   My good friend, Anita, recently reminded me of this sentiment.   This past week, since learning that my initial chemotherapies were not consistently working to stop or slow the disease progression in my liver, has been a very difficult time for Wynn, our kids, and me.   I have felt like my world is being showered with explosive and poison bombs. My clinical picture is inconsistent.   Although the primary tumor in my lung is measurably smaller and all of my liver enzyme tests have improved (some returning to within normal ranges), the tumors in my liver and bones are larger and more numerous.   The inconsistencies made us wonder if I wasn't giving the initial chemotherapies enough time, which started a cascade of phone calls, appointments, emails, and onlin...

  �the Tough Go Skiing!   Earlier this week, for the first time this year, our area got enough snow to cross country ski.   The first day, Wynn went out with our cycling/skiing buddies, Ann and Mike, without me.   Hearing how beautiful it was in the forest, I wanted to go out so badly.   So, the next day, Wynn, Brigid and I went out.   I wasn�t able to go far or fast, but being out skiing on a crisp, winter day did me a lot of good.   It was great�Brigid stayed with me and Wynn could take off, here and there, for a quick aerobic burst.   For that time, I didn�t feel sick. Can you imagine...I didn't feel like I have cancer?!  Amazing. Two days later, Wynn and I skied again.   I know that Wynn loves to get a good workout when he goes out to ski, but he stayed with me and barely broke a sweat.   I love my husband.

This past weekend, two dear friends, Annie and Stefanie, from graduate school came to visit me.   Since our days at Cal, we have made the point of seeing each other and staying close.   We had a wonderfully low key, but very fun time together.   Laughing a lot is always requisite.   Along with Brigid, Jerry and Cathy, we all watched the Super Bowl game, rooting for the 49ers�except Nathan.   Everyone cooked, (except me) and we all ate too much.