Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog

Like all of us, I live with many uncertainties.  Before my cancer diagnosis, most of the uncertainties I thought about were not of the "life and death" magnitude that I think about now.  Back then I could sort out the level of uncertainties I had to deal with into two basic categories,  "big" deals and "small" deals.  An example of a "big" deal uncertainty was whether or not I would pass the Genetic Counseling board exam, and an example of a "small" deal uncertainty was whether or not I needed to leave the house with an umbrella.  Despite both of these examples being uncertainties, I had background information that helped gauge the amount of risk I was taking on.  I knew that if I studied for my board exam, I had a better chance of passing, and if I listened to the local weather forecast I'd know if I should pack an umbrella for the day. In other words, I was able to adjust the burden of my risk by my actions...you know...I had some...

I really don't know how a person in my position would be able to manage having stage IV lung cancer, or any serious long-term illness for that matter, without health insurance, access to great doctors and support from staff within the system.  Every month I call my oncologist's office and speak to the person in charge of prescription refills to get my oral chemotherapy medication for the following month.  I was told to call them when I have five days of meds left to give them enough time to deliver the pills to my oncologist's office.  Earlier this week, I made the usual call and later in the day received a message saying there was a "complication with my insurance company" and that I would receive a call the next day.  It turns out that the cost of my medication increased 5% and my insurance company declined the claim. [In dollars, that's from $14,000 up to $14,700/month.]  Of course, I automatically got upset...angry that the price went up so much...frustrat...

Although it's taken four months and help from a few of my friends, as of last Friday I am off of oxycodone.  I weathered a couple of days of relatively mild withdrawal symptoms after I took my last, miniscule, dose.  It's now been four days and I feel much better.  In communication with my Pharm.D. friend, W.H., pharmacokinetically-speaking, the dose I was on was so small that I should have been able to stop taking it a couple of weeks ago.  However, in  order to be successful, W.H. encouraged a weaning schedule that depended upon how I felt. I am fully aware, (as I'm sure W.H. is also), that I was, initially, physically dependent on this drug and then somewhere long the way, it became a head game for me.  W.H. told me to hang in there and be patient because it is common for patients to fall off the wagon near the end of the weaning plan.  I'm sure that's because the process is really long and most unpleasant.  During the last four months, I was ...